What is couple therapy?

Being ‘stuck in old patterns of interaction is a common human experience since we all bring to our new relationships the  cumulative learning from the past’ (Brief Therapy With Couples by Maria Gilbert & Diana Smukler.

I see my role as a couple therapist to help you to become ‘unstuck’ and free from old, restrictive pattern in your relationship. As a couple therapist I facilitate the following proces

      • To raise awareness of the non problem solving repetitive pattern your relationship
      • To develop and test strategies that remedy deficits.
      • To teach you how to communicate in a ‘non violent’ way with each other and how to listen  in new way’s,  with empathy and understandin
      • To teach you how to communicate in a non judgemental and non blaming way and still express your feelings and needs
      •  To raise awareness about different attachment styles and how this affects the kind of partner you unconsciously choose.


      Please find some of the major attachment styles described by Bartholomew and Horrowitz 1991:

      What is your tendency?


      It is easy for me to become emotional close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.


      I am comfortable without close relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer to not depend on others or have others depend on me.


      I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust other’s completely or to depend on them. I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become close to others.


      I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable to be without close relationships, but sometimes I worry that other’s don’t value me as much as I value them.



      If you have any feed back about this website, please email ulrike@approachcounsellingandpsychotherapy.co.uk

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